Pushing limits does not mean making Master so
angry the vein above His right eye throbs.
"Quit it!" "Ow, damnit!" "I'm hiding that toy when
you go to work tomorrow" and cursing a blue streak are
not safe words.
"Oh my god, where did you get those, they are
gorgeous!!!" is not considered boot worship.
"Ya want fries with that?", "Want me to drink it
for you too?" are not appropriate remarks when Master
gives you an elaborate drink order.
Flipping your dominant off while your hands are
cuffed behind your back is a bad idea, Owners have
ways of knowing these things.
Putting lube, goop, superglue, ink or any other
substance that will sully the hands of Mistress on her
toys while setting up for a session is not a good
idea.
Kicking that toy you hate far under the bed is
futile. Master will only secure your wristcuffs to
your anklecuffs and make you crawl for it...
repeatedly.
"Bite me" is never an intelligent response to a
command.
Doing your Beavis and Butthead imitation of "Fire,
fire, fire, fire!" during Master's lecture on fireplay
safety is considered rude.
Responding with "Yes, All Wise, All Knowing Grand
Imp erial Weenie" is not appropriate when Master asks
you if you are comfortable during a bondage scene.
Asking to go to the bathroom every five minutes
while Mistress practices her Japanese rope work on you
will try her patience, quickly.
Crossing your eyes and sticking your tongue out
while your dominant is discussing your punishment is
not wise.
There is no such thing as slave immunity, free
slave day, or the pms defense. The slave jury might
not convict you, but the Dom judge will override the
verdict. Count on it.
Pretending Mistress' collection of buttplugs are
toys and singing the "Weebles wobble but they won't
fall down" song is not a good idea.
Repeatedly blowing out each candle Master lights
during wax play will get you punished.
Checking Master's head for the 666 symbol after a
harsh punishment will only get you more of the same,
or worse.
Additionally, remarking that you didn't realize
Satan was a female when you are angry with Mistress is
not a good plan.
"I know you are but what am I?" is not the
appropriate response when called a raunchy little
whore during humiliation play.
Using the spreader bars, paddles or canes for the
fireplace is not a good plan.
Asking Mistress if her Midol supply has run out is
never appropriate.
"Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me" is an
unacceptable remark when Master's flogger slips.
When Mistress pulls out her bullwhip and says she
wants to play, she doesn't mean hide-n-seek... she
will find you eventually.
Calling Merry Maids when you are ordered to spruce
the place up is not what your dominant had in mind.
"Faster, faster, we need a new Master" is NOT the
song to sing during a session.
"Oh, and you think I am?" is an unacceptable
response to hearing your dominant say he is not
pleased.
During a play party is not the time to do your
hilarious imitation of Igor and hunch over, moaning
"Yes, Marster" when ordered to fetch something.
Adding "Sir/Ma'am/Master/Mistress" to "Fuck that
plan!" will not save you.
Singing the chorus of "Anything You Can Do, I Can
Do Better" under your breath during a session is
considered foolhardy.
Arguing whether "Master might not be right, but
Master is never wrong" is Zen or Buddhist philosophy
will only get you rewarded with kneeling in the corner
on a bed of Lego's "to help you consider the question
in quiet contemplation".
Reciting nursery rhymes during an interrogation
scene to crack your Owner up only lasts for so long.
Then you will pay BIG.
Asking "Is that as HARD as you can hit??" is
considered a cry for help amongst submissive suicide
prevention workers.